Hey everyone! I just want to share something that really bothers me for days now. In reality, maybe this is not really a big thing for many of you guys, but for me the struggle is so real. So here goes:
I have “Agoraphobia”:
Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder characterized by anxiety in situations where the sufferer perceives certain environments as dangerous or uncomfortable, often due to the environment’s vast openness or crowdedness. These situations include wide-open spaces, as well as uncontrollable social situations such as the possibility of being met in shopping malls, airports and on bridges. Agoraphobia is defined within the DSM-IV TR as a subset of panic disorder, involving the fear of incurring a panic attack in those environments. In the DSM-5, however, agoraphobia is classified as being separate from panic disorder. The sufferer may go to great lengths to avoid those situations, in severe cases becoming unable to leave their home or safe haven.
I’m highly uncomfortable with traveling alone, maybe that’s why I don’t do it. I tried to overcome this fear for so many times, trying to conquer small achievable goals from time to time but really I’m not still ready.
Last time me and my sister went to Pampanga to get our passports processed which by the way we already received last Friday (woohoo! :D). My plan originally was to depart Olongapo at 0700H to be able to be at Pampanga on time, but Trisha’s late so I kinda freak out a little because my sched is kinda ruined. In fairness the trip was kinda OKAY but the experience at DFA was unbelievably disappointing. I’ll discuss that on my other post. I’m not so patience either with long lines.
So I have this errand to do at Manila at Marina Office specifically at Kalaw, Ermita I think. Grabe! Im such a sucker for directions. Many said that’s its just easy to go there but no matter how many people tell me that its easy and no matter how many directions I get, I don’t absorb anything. Funny thing is that one of my friend is even drawing me a map on where to go and where to get a jeep. Lol. #Smalltowngirl problems. Olongapo is smaller than Manila and I’m not really comfortable in taking chances. Which I will have to face sooner or later like this week. I’m really stress about this talaga! Really a phobia, I even took a leave to think this thru.
But its really fun kasi I think Im just being OA. I just need to come to my senses and decided that I can do it.
HAHA see that small notes that my friend wrote. “based on experience” daw. LOL.
Maybe this is also the culprit why I did not pursue to study and even work in Manila. Also the place creeps me, with all the crimes that I hear at News.
So help me God. I promise once I got thru this mag Mamanila na ko. Cause I’m also considering on applying for a job at the US Embassy.
Thanks for reading my rants about places, directions and whatnot! Will keep you updated on this phobia.